Who is this person I see in the mirror? Do I even recognise her and who have I become? You see I have a confession to make. Lately I've been out in the evenings spending time with men I fancy (different men I fancy to varying degrees). The ritual begins with a bath, dolling myself up with meticulous care, blow drying my hair, slipping into my LBD, killer high heels, clutch in hand and hopping into a black cab heading into the night. I feel a million dollars. I sit staring out the window as I cross Battersea Bridge listening to the Black Eyed Peas on my iPhone, getting me in the mood for what lies ahead. The anticipation of seeing him makes me smile wryly to myself. Finally I arrive at our meeting place and look for the first of the men I fancy (the one I fancy most). I look around the dated but quaint theatre and then our eyes meet. He recognises me instantly and crosses the room to offer me a glass of champagne. Champagne, my favourite. How did he know it was my drink of choice? Easy, he's my husband (M).
We are sipping champagne at the Duchess Theatre in the West End about to see Dominic West (yes the brooding Baltimore cop Jimmy McNulty from US hit series The Wire) in Butley, a play by Simon Gray.
Ben Butley (played by West) is a university English literature lecturer whose life spectacularly collapses around him. Over the course of a monumentally bad day Butley discovers that his estranged wife is divorcing him and, even worse, that his beloved protégé and best friend is leaving him too. Butley is a man uncomfortable in his own skin (possibly even gay) and is determined to get under other people’s instead. He's going down and he is taking everyone else with him. West is excellent as he plays an unlikeable deeply flawed character and yet remains endearing in a strange way, even as he hurts those for whom he cares, and inflicts even deeper wounds on himself. West conveys both tragic and comic with ease.
To be honest I didn't know what to expect of West as theatre can be quite hard going but he was captivating (particularly up close as I do fancy him a bit). West clearly dominated but the supporting cast gave a strong performanc. I enjoyed it very much. Funnily enough though, M kept expecting Bunk (McNulty's partner from The Wire) to appear on stage at some point or West to come out after intermission in police uniform and start swearing at everyone.
I repeated the ritual on another night and this time started my evening off at J Sheekey (a fish and seafood restaurant) in the West End. We opted for the J Sheekey Oyster Bar right next door as it's a little more casual and I am a huge fan of oysters. As fate would have it, as I went to sit at the bar I noticed another man I fancied (and have fancied for quite some time) having a lone quiet drink. Tall, dark and handsome with a somewhat bad boy past (isn't every girl attracted to a bad boy to some degree?), I'd always loved his voice, that perfect english accent and that hair. We exchanged glances and then he smiled back at me. Rupert Everett smiled at me. I was giddy like a school girl and beamed. What a night it was going to be (even though strictly speaking he wasn't really drinking with me but hey, we were in the same bar at the same time).
Back to the oysters. I did have slight reservations that UK oysters might not live up to Australian standards but happily I was proven wrong. There were about 6 different types of oysters on offer and on the recommendation of a waiter who clearly knew what he was talking about my choice was sublime. The champagne selection was excellent and coupled with half a dozen oysters great value for money.
Note to readers: I think it's always better to have a pre-theatre meal than a post-theatre meal if you're anything like me and hopeless drinking on an empty stomach. The other night M and I were eating our dinner at Foxtrot Oscar on our way home at 10.15pm, which on the face of it isn't a problem but after pre-theatre drinks and intermission drinks, I was pretty much sloshed.
Okay so after being fed and watered, my attention returns to Rupert Everett and seeing that I hadn't had quite enough of him (and not being one to crash his solitary drink), we decided to meet up with him at the Garrick Theatre (by that I mean, I was going to see him in a play at the Garrick Theatre). Everett was starring as Henry Higgins alongside Kara Tointon (former EastEnders star and Strictly Come Dancing 2010 winner) as Eliza Doolittle in George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion.
I think you all know the story: egocentric Professor Higgins makes a bet with his friend, the amiable Colonel Pickering, that he can transform the manners and speech of Cockney flower girl Eliza Doolittle and pass her off as a lady in society. Everett and Tointon are dazzling together. Everett plays Higgins with supreme flair and in his own effervescent style (that very style we loved in My Best Friend's Wedding and An Ideal Husband). Tointon is stunning and exquisite (and frankly reminded me very much of Hepburn in My Fair Lady) and together with Diana Riggs (as Higgin's mother) and Peter Eyre (as Colonel Pickering), the play is brought together beautifully and was truly enjoyable. The entire cast gave a very solid performance. I watched, I listened, I laughed and I marvelled. Wow. What a production and what a great night out.
Theatre tickets: £££, champagne and food: ££. Nights out with men I fancy: priceless.
Butley (Michelle's rating 4 out of 5)
Duchess Theatre
Catherine Street, London, WC2B 5LA
Pygmalion (Michelle's rating 4.5/5)
Garrick Theatre
Charing Cross Road, London, WC2H 0HH
